CONQUERing Collaboration: Prioritizing Yourself

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. A huge component of mental health, and overall wellness, is learning to prioritize yourself. 

When you have a lot of responsibilities, are a people pleaser, or simply struggle to put yourself first, learning how to prioritize yourself can be difficult. 

This month for our CONQUERing Collaboration, we wanted to focus on prioritizing YOU. We switched things up this month and asked members of the CONQUERing Crew for their advice on self-prioritization. Before we share their thoughts, we'll discuss: 

• What is means to prioritize yourself
• How to prioritize yourself more
• Why prioritizing your health is important
• How to prioritize your physical and mental health 

What Does it Mean to Prioritize Yourself?

At face value, prioritizing yourself means unconditionally putting yourself first. It means putting yourself in the center of your life and catering to your needs before anyone else's. 

"Learning to prioritize yourself goes beyond self-care. It means crushing the beliefs that are keeping you indebted to others' priorities and prioritizing your own dreams and ambitions instead."—Tony Robbins, How to Prioritize Yourself

Self-prioritization means unlearning the belief that putting yourself first is selfish. From a young age, we are taught that being selfless means being a good person. That putting others before yourself should be the norm. There is some truth to that—it is important to consider how your actions will affect those around you and to consider the needs of the people in your life. 

Being selfless and putting others first doesn't mean that you should completely decenter what makes you happy and what makes you feel fulfilled. When you do that, you lose pieces of yourself and drain your energy. It's hard to help other people and foster healthy relationships with others when you are completely depleted. 

How Do I Prioritize Myself More?

First and foremost, learning to prioritize yourself more means unlearning a lot of behaviors and beliefs you were taught from a young age. It can be uncomfortable at times to put yourself at the front of your own life, especially when you've been putting others first for so long. 

Work through those uncomfortable feelings and start re-centering yourself. We put together five tips that can help you start prioritizing yourself more: 

1. Let go of the guilt and feelings of selfishness. You have to learn to let go of the belief that putting yourself first is selfish. When you don't prioritize yourself, you drain your energy which will negatively impact the people you believe you should be putting first. It is not a bad thing to start prioritizing what you need—you need to fully believe that you deserve to be the most important person in your life. 
2. Look past the expectations of others. It's impossible to meet or exceed the expectations that every single person has of you. Your boss might want you to work extra hours, your spouse might want you to cook every night, and your friends might want you to act as their therapist. We're not saying that you should blow everybody off and ignore their needs. Instead, we're telling you to focus on what your expectations are and then clearly communicate with the people in your life what is, and isn't, possible. 
3. Set healthy boundaries. This can be tricky, especially if you're used to dropping everything and taking care of all the needs others have of you. Start with what you need and then begin to set boundaries from there. If you need time in your day to focus on your personal health, pursue your passions, etc., say no to anything that might prevent you from fulfilling your needs. It all boils down to communicating what your needs are and feeling comfortable telling people no. 
4. Rediscover your hobbies and passions. One of the first things to go when you prioritize others are your hobbies and passions. You end up focusing solely on what you need to survive, instead of what you need to live. Rediscover what your passions are and pick up new hobbies that make you feel fulfilled. 
5. Don't compare yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others can allow guilt to start creeping back in. Remember that prioritizing yourself is a unique journey only you can take. Comparing yourself to the people around you can be a slippery slope to falling back into old habits. 

Remember, this is YOUR life. What matters most is that you're taking care of yourself and prioritizing your needs. 

Why is Prioritizing Your Health Important? 

A huge reason that prioritizing yourself is important is that putting others first can negatively impact your health. 

Taking care of your physical and mental health can improve almost every aspect of your life. You'll have increased energy levels to dedicate the time and focus on what others in your life need from you, you'll have an improved mood to foster healthy relationships, you'll sleep better, and you'll experience less stress. 

Prioritizing your health can actually allow you to act selflessly and cater to what others need from you. In general, the better your health is, the better your quality of life will be. 

How Do I Prioritize My Physical Health? 

When we talk about self-prioritization and taking care of yourself, it can be easy to only focus on mental health. However, when you're physically unhealthy, it can feel like you only have the energy and abilities to do what you need to survive each day. 

As you go on the journey of learning to prioritize yourself, make sure you're focusing on how you can prioritize your physical health. We have five tips that you can try to make sure you're meeting the needs of your physical health: 

1. Get a good night's sleep. Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep. Sleep is how your mind and body recharges from the day. Sleep deprivation can have very scary impacts on your life which is why it is so important that at the very least, you're prioritizing getting good rest.
   
2. Eat a balanced diet. Fruits and vegetables are absolutely important and should be incorporated in meals and snacks throughout the day. However, eating three meals a day is really what can help improve your physical health. It can be easy to skip a meal when you get caught up in the demands of your daily life. Getting three meals in should be a non-negotiable and you should be telling people no if it means you have to skip a meal. 
3. Stay active. This doesn't mean you need to join a gym and work out multiple hours everyday (although, more power to you if you do!) Even ten minutes of being active can make a world of difference. Go outside for a walk at the end of the day or stretch your body in the morning. What's important is that you're moving your body everyday. 
4. Perform regular body scans. Assess how your body feels from your head to your toes. Do you notice tension in any specific area? Maybe you've been having headaches more? Take note of where your pain points are and assess what might be causing them.
5. Quit negative habits. Make a commitment to quitting unhealthy habits. Start by cutting back on those habits until you can eventually quit for good. 

Your physical health can affect your energy levels which can alter your overall mood. Incorporate habits that prioritize your physical health when you think about how you should start putting yourself first. 

How Do I Prioritize My Mental Health? 

Prioritizing mental health might feel more aligned with what you hear when people talk about putting themselves first. When you don't feel mentally healthy, you might be prone to lashing out at others, talking down to yourself, or generally feeling depressed. 

Mental wellness is a key component of self-prioritization. We have five tips you can try when learning to prioritize your mental health: 

1. Track your feelings and emotions. Keep a daily log of your emotions. When you're experiencing negative feelings, think about what the source may be. Before you agree to help someone, assess your emotional state to decide if committing to something will negatively affect your mental health. 
2. Be kind to yourself. If you don't speak kindly to yourself, your brain won't be able to put you first. You will feel guilty and selfish if you don't put others' needs before your own. Learn to start talking to yourself how you would talk to a friend. Take note when you do speak or think negatively about yourself. 
3. Practice mindfulness. Meditating everyday and keeping a gratitude journal can make a huge difference. Focus on what is good in your life and what brings you joy. That can start to reframe your mindset so thinking of your own needs first becomes second-nature. 
4. Unplug. Doom scrolling and focusing on what other people have can negatively affect your mental health. Replace the time you would spend on your devices with new hobbies or pursuing your passions. 
5. Ask for help when you need it. There is no shame in asking for help. Whether it be telling the people who love you that you are struggling, or going to see a professional, it's important to get help when you need it. 

When you are physically and mentally healthy, you can be fully present and help others without draining your energy. 

How Does the CONQUERcrew Prioritize Themselves?

For this month's collaboration, we decided to switch things up and ask the CONQUERcrew how they prioritize themselves! 

A lot of people who work with CONQUERing have a lot of additional responsibilities in their lives. This is why we were so curious to learn what they do to keep themselves at the forefront of their busy lives.

Gage started by sharing how crucial prioritizing himself is for the busy life he leads. Having a set routine is definitely a theme I picked up in his response. He said, "I always start my mornings with a cup of coffee, letting the dogs out, and just breathing in some fresh air. I switch back and forth from podcasts to self help books, and do my best to complete this before doing any work everyday!"

Routines are a very easy way to ensure that you're prioritizing yourself. It gives you an idea of what you can feasibly add to your day when you already know how much extra time you have after your needs have been met. 

Carrie focused on what she does for herself. She was a stay at home mom for five years before she started working again. While it was rewarding and she wouldn't do anything differently if she could do it again, she told us, "Showing up at work and interacting with my coworkers/new family is just what I need most days! A happy work environment is a true game changer for mental health!!!"

Moms are easily one of the largest groups of people that don't prioritize themselves. If you are a mom and have a partner, make sure you're splitting child care and housework 50/50 when you can—especially if you both have full-time jobs. Don't feel shame in asking for help and allow your community to step in when they offer. 

Hallie shared her two non-negotiables when it comes to her mental wellness: sleep and movement. She said, "Prioritizing good rest helps me reset and show up as my best self, while daily exercise keeps my mind grounded and focused...It's a daily investment in my well-being that helps me stay centered, present, and energized for whatever life throws my way." 

Physical and mental health are absolutely investments. You have to intentionally prioritize them and carve out time in your daily routine to maintain them. Sleep and movement are two easy ways that you can ensure you're taking care of your physical and mental health. 

These additional insights from the CONQUERcrew offer more ways that you can start learning to prioritize yourself. 

Find the Joy in Prioritizing Yourself 

Now that you know the benefits of prioritizing yourself, and have some actionable steps you can take, it's time to begin your journey of putting yourself first. 

If you need encouragement to not feel guilty about self-prioritization, or just want a daily reminder to put yourself first, check out these designs that might have the message you need: 

YOU GOT THIS	YES YOU CAN	Nope.